An Overview of American Stripclubs

On a cold winters day a not-so-young man’s thoughts turn towards Germany and the prospect of cavorting with naked nymphs at an FKK club.

I stare out my window at the New England winter landscape and lament the strength of the Euro, the threat of war on the horizon and my being stuck here at least for the short term.

In the US we have no decent alternatives to a full blown FKK adventure in Germany. Germany is a Maennerparadies sans pareil, as the French would say.

Since it might be a while before I go again, I thought I would write about what I know. Let me see if I can explain American attitudes towards sex to the rest of the world by starting out with a description of our strip club scene.

I would venture to say that we probably have among the best strip clubs on the planet. Some of our women are just awesome and they really dance. This is probably the only good thing we have that is world class, however. It’s all a tease with no real sex offered up.

Mostly, the women are naked except for their shoes; this is unless you made the unfortunate choice of visiting a bikini club or a topless club where the women never take everything off or only their tops. In the US local communities decide whether full nudity strip clubs are allowed to exist so your experience will depend greatly on where you are.

In some communities, full nudity clubs cannot serve alcohol while the bikini clubs or topless clubs can. Luckily where I live there is no such rule.

Because she works for tips, a woman’s ability to dance and her visual appeal are all important. Some women really dance while others only look good and hardly move. Her personal grooming is also important – shaved pussy does better than unshaved these days.

Most clubs have strict rules about touching: the bouncers at the door enforce these rules and will toss you out on your ear should you so much as touch her elbow.

The clubs I visit often now have metal detectors at their doors to ensure no one comes in with weapons. This is a relatively new trend. I’ve been visiting clubs like this across the country for several decades and can say I’ve never actually see a brawl or anything which would indicate it is unsafe. They also check for cameras and video equipment.

In fact, they get quite suspicious. An owner at a club came up to me once to see if I was sketching the dancers. I said I was just there writing notes to myself.

Because the impact is entirely visual, there is usually a lot of silicone and that “blonde-big-hair-kissed-by-a-blow-dryer-look”. Our standard of beauty being the Barbie doll, all women assume that blonde hair, big tits and a narrow waist are all we are looking for. American men definitely have a thing for blondes. I think its gets boring after a while. Bring me a real woman anytime instead of these high-maintenance types who have the bone structure of a bird with large plastic tits. But that is just my personal preference.

You enter the club, find a seat and order your drink. If you are seated at the stage, you are practically required to tip every dancer (the tips are a dollar). The waitresses are prepared for this and will typically give you back your change in small bills (singles). If you want to get a dancer’s attention, you don’t put your stack of bills away but rather leave it for her to see beside your drink.

Sometimes the clubs offer bar top dancing instead of stage dancing. In the former, the dancers dance right on the bar where you place your drink (how they do this without knocking too many things over, I’ll never figure out) and you get personal close ups.

I’ve had the experience of tipping a woman who had amazing muscle control down there. She could suck air in and expel it on command. She blew air on my face. Amazing stuff. I also had the weird experience of tipping one who had just had sex with her boyfriend and she was dripping wet sticky stuff right on the bar top (she was not really aware she was doing this).

The dance routine is pretty simple. She comes up dressed in something skimpy (a top and a bottom, bare legs, spiky heels) and dances that way for one dance. She’ll do bend overs and if she is really athletic, she’ll do splits. For her second dance, she takes off her top. For her third dance, she takes off her bottom. Then she does one last dance and she does floor work: spreads, splits, etc…lying on the floor, usually without her shoes. In a really raunchy club, her first dance is in a short skirt with no underwear. Most strip clubs have a pole and the better dancers know how to work it. A typical set lasts about twenty minutes after which the next dancer gets on the stage.

The rules of tipping vary greatly too. In some clubs, she holds a strap of her bikini bottom out and you are wrap your dollar bill around it (without making any contact). In some places, you hold a stiffened dollar bill out and she takes it by squeezing her tits around it (again no contact). In most places, she isn’t allowed to take it out of your hand but only if you’ve left it on the floor.

Though one might dream of hooking up with a dancer off the premises, it almost never happens. Some guys try to get a dancer’s attention by tipping like crazy – I never find out whether they score or don’t.

If you don’t tip you don’t get any personal attention from her. By personal attention, I mean, she comes by and gives you a 30 second show before moving on to the next patron. I even have the routine memorized: she spots you, turns around and bends over to show you her ass and thighs from behind. She flips her hair back and then gets down on all fours, arches her back and puts her tits on the floor. The she flips around to give you a front view, spread, cups her tits, maybe licks them, then holds herself up on her arms and legs to give you a full view (the reverse of being on all fours). She then squats in front of you, reaches out to take your tip and then is gone. If she is athletic, she will do a split or even a shoulder stand while on the floor before going into a squat. Sometimes she will smack her ass.

It’s actually not a bad deal for a dollar each time. Since tips are usually the only way a stripper makes her money, she has to hustle.

The raunchier clubs let the women touch themselves, do finger spreads and come to within inches of your face. So close in fact that if you stuck your tongue out you’d get a taste of her. Its all a tease though. You’d never be allowed to make contact like that. If you are lucky, she might squeeze your face with her thighs or envelop your face in her hair. The more “establishment” type clubs make the women keep their legs together and she cannot so much as touch her tits.

Some of these clubs try to attain some legitimacy by aspiring to “men’s clubs” status. All that means is that the women come out in evening gowns before stripping down, one can see naked female flesh in an upscale setting while being plied with alcoholic drinks by aggressive waitresses. Close up “table dancing” is available, typically in a VIP room and for a determined fee per dance (usually about $20.00). All table dancing means is she stands on a small table in front of you and does her dance routine just for you. You cannot touch her and can get nothing more than you would get sitting at the stage.

Now, lap dancing is an entirely different animal. In places where contact is allowed (there are some communities), she will sit in your lap (for a fee) and grind away in a dry hump. You might get to cup her tits and touch her ass, but almost never touch her between her legs though. Every couple of seconds or so she will ask for more money. When you stop tipping her, she stands up and leaves. If you keep tipping, she keeps grinding away.

New York City used to have a couple of lap dancing places which have since closed since their last mayor put a stop to it. In the summer, guys would go in shorts without underwear for a dry hump. You couldn’t take your dick out though. Some of the women would slap you if you did. In principle, no actual sex would take place. Its considered bad form to jack off at a place like this though I’m sure there are guys who do it.

There was another era when stripping consisted of elaborate costumes and classical bump and grind to a live band. Unfortunately, I caught the tail end of that era and its long gone.

As you can see, we are extremely repressed here. Strip clubs are probably our last bastion of non-politically correct behavior, a place where a man can be a man and simply enjoy looking at women without guilt. Blame it on the Puritans who came to settle New England in the early 1600s.

Hoffentlich werde ich Zeit haben, diesen Aufsatz ins Deutsch zu uebersetzen. Schick mir Fragen, wenn Ihr Fragen habt und ich kann auf Deutsch antworten.

 

Weren´t those the guys that would talk about building "the mansion on the hill?" Well, they certainly didn´t mean "the strip club on the hill" which, secretely, some of them might have thought of as equally attractive.

Anyway, I have quite some experience with strip joints in and around Denver/CO. Forgot most of the names but one of them was on Colfax Ave. (then again, there are more than one there) I was lucky enough to get the chance to date one of the girls for awhile. Her name was Kami and she provided me with quite a few insights of club life. She also told me that, occasionally, one or two of the girls would have dates, appointments, parties - call it as you like - with customers. In at least two cases the owners got wind of it and the girls were fired in no time.

Elway

 

We spent a helluvalot money in a club named "The Gossip" in Melville, NY (Long Island) in March 2002 ... it's a topless club with lap dancing and we had a great time.

Even though any sex-like actions between customer and dancer where prohibited, it was no problem that during some kind of four-some dance (me, my friend, a girl he just met at a bar and took with him to the club and a dancer) my friend's girl had her hand in his trousers jacking him off in public right next to the main stage while the dancer was performing and kinda ignited the whole thing with her actions.

This special dancer also suggested to visit the two of us in our hotel room for $400 the other day and a few other dancers at least said they might be interested in some private hotel action if only they knew us better, while most of them denied our desperate tries to get laid. :drunk

Some more private action was going on in their Champagne/Cigar Room for around $150 for about half an hour, however still no real sex (someone better should have told me before :flame) ...

CU

 

As American hobbyists say: YMMV - "Your Mileage May Vary".

This explains why an American who gets to Germany for the first time is shocked to find that: every woman you meet at an FKK club is available for sex and that there are no surprises, no need to negotiate basic services.